


The Story of A Boy and His Star

by queenofcats



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, I don't know what to tag this as, M/M, i think, um...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:58:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6505816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofcats/pseuds/queenofcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi and Erwin are on a mission that goes wrong. They end up trapped in a cave, and Eren saves the day. However, the incident in the cave forces them to reconsider their feelings for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Story of A Boy and His Star

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is probably terrible, but I feel like it's the most in character thing I've written for the three armed angst monster that is these old gays. Besides, we need happiness after chapter 80. This literally takes place in a very alternate canon, so it follows the main storyline without a lot of the minor details. I just found it easier to ignore it all, haha.
> 
> One of the songs that I was listening to the other day was called Life in Mono, by an old group called Mono, weirdly enough, and it made me sad and I was like... let's write some sad stuff. But then I thought, no. My heart can't take it, not after chap 80. So now we have a happy ending.

It wasn't meant to happen like this. The formation wasn't meant to break, no matter how many Titans appeared. Erwin had calculated every scenario he could think of, made adjustments to his plans for all outcomes, but still, he never could have predicted this. It was... It was hell.  
It looked like hell, too. The sky was grey, blackened by the remnants of smoke from the flares, that clouded his vision, stinging his eyes and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, but he could still see the dead piled around him, and the Titans that had eaten them. He desperately wanted to give in, to stop trying, and to face an honourable death. But Erwin was no honourable man, not in his opinion. And he had his own selfish reasons for wanting to live, mainly his father and the theories that had lead him to this moment.

He rode fast, trying to look for survivors. He didn't pay much heed to his surroundings, except for anything that looked like life, trying to ignore the sound of goggles cracking under his horse's hooves, trying to ignore the red scarf he could see still fluttering in the breeze. He had to, because it was the only thing that could keep him sane at the moment.  
He needed to find someone who was alive, because otherwise he was dead too. He was lucky to be alive, yes, but with only one arm and no protection, he was hardly going to live for much longer. Although, and this was something he'd thought ever since he lost his arm, perhaps he was meant to stay alive til the very end, until the guilt had consumed him, or perhaps just until he was about to learn the secrets that had killed his father. Perhaps living was his punishment, since dying would be an easy way out. He couldn't think much about it now, didn't want to lose focus of what he had to do.

The Survey Corps had ended up in a mountainous region outside the walls, had been pushed out by the shifters, probably right into a trap, which was probably the reason they'd had so much trouble with the Titans. They'd been trapped in between the mountains, trees few and far between. They weren't meant to be there, but they'd had to after the formation had broken. This made it harder to plan for, and he'd ended up having to improvise a lot of it, which was mainly why they'd been there for well over two days, without a rest. All he knew was that the terrain was uneven, and awful to ride horses on. That didn't deter him, though, and he kept his eyes wide open, trying to sense movement that wasn't the horses or the Titans.

A flash of light suddenly caught his eye, bright red. The noise it made definitely caught Erwin's attention. It was a flare, fired... from the ground? Erwin frowned, before riding over to see where it'd come from. There were Titans practically surrounding the area, but he'd made it this far without attracting their attention too much, so he figured he could risk it.  
His horse was galloping at full speed, the wind whipping through his hair and clothes. It was painful, almost, but he had to get there quickly. He could see a pit in the ground. Someone had to be down there, and he needed to find out who. Erwin knew he'd probably be able to use his gear to jump safely into it. He stopped his horse just in time, though he must have misjudged his speed as it jerked him up and over into darkness.  
\---  
"Oi. Oi, Erwin?"

Silence.

"Erwin, get up."

More silence.

"Please, Erwin."

The Commander looked pale and lifeless in Levi's arms, eyes shut and face covered in who knows what. He looked like an absolute mess, and Levi knew exactly why. Erwin's plan had gone completely wrong, from beginning to end, and lost almost everyone. Levi could only assume that most of his squad was fallen, since he knew for a fact that Hange, who'd been riding with them to help out with Eren, had been one of the first ones to go. He knew that this would probably have terrified the rest of the team, because no matter how many times they went out into battle, seeing one of their superiors die was likely to strip them of any confidence they had.

That was the feeling Levi had now, in fact. Seeing Erwin like this was just as bad as it had been seeing him in that hospital bed, his arm freshly gone, and his stump bloody. Seeing that had terrified Levi, because Erwin was the only person he could trust to be a constant in his life. He was bordering on devoted to the man, and if he was dead, that would pretty much be the end of Levi too.

"Please, Erwin, get up."

He couldn't help but keep trying. Even though he was in a lot of pain himself, he knew that if Erwin woke up, he'd do anything he could to get them back safely. At least, he'd make sure Erwin did. Both sets of gear seemed to be working, he'd taken his own off once he'd got down there, and he'd taken Erwin's off too. But he'd checked, and they both had a good amount of gas left.

It was right after he'd seen Titans devour yet another squad that he'd ended up down there. It was on the first day, and he'd been trying to get round one of them to engage his gear, but the horse had stopped, and thrown him to the ground. His ankle, which had never fully recovered from the incident with the Female Titan, had been the part that had made contact with the ground first. Luckily, a rush of adrenaline had allowed him to move away from the group of Titans while they were still distracted by the other soldiers. Without watching where he was going, he fell again, right into what must be a cave of some sort.  
He'd spent long enough in there to have figured out it was about 5 long paces wide and almost as long, the small space practically suffocating. It had one source of light, and that was from above. It was decent enough, Levi could see all he needed, like Erwin.

\--

"Levi?" a deep and familiar baritone asked.

"Erwin, thank fuck you're awake!" Levi replied, holding his Commander closer to his chest. He didn't care if he looked weird, he thought that he was dead.

"Where are we?" Erwin's muffled voice came.

"In a cave. We're in a cave." Levi said, clearly relieved. Erwin had long ago learnt to sense the minor changes in Levi's usually monotone voice.  
Erwin slowly pulled out of Levi's arms, wondering how worried he must have been to have got so close, to have been holding him for so long. He sat up properly, back against the wall, next to Levi. When he turned, he caught sight of his horse, and quickly looked away. He didn't need to see any more death today.

Erwin looked up, trying to calculate how easy it'd be for them to escape. Levi could do it easily, all he needed was working gear, the lack of which was probably why he was stuck down here in the first place. Erwin's gear worked, and he had no issue with giving it up if it meant that Levi would get back safely.  
He was their most valuable asset, really, and Erwin had always been protective of his Captain. If Erwin had had a brother, he's sure it would have been Levi. Or that's what he told himself, at least. In trying to rid himself of all emotions, Erwin had learnt how to live with the lies he convinced himself of, but he would always, deep down, feel for Levi in a way that he just couldn't allow himself to. Mainly because he wasn't worthy of Levi, and because he didn't deserve any sort of love from anyone anyway, especially his Captain. It was bad enough having his unconditional trust and unwavering devotion. Erwin didn't think he could live with himself if he realised that Levi had wasted his precious emotions, his dear heart, on him.

"How're you feeling?" Levi eventually asked, sounding pretty concerned.

"I'm fine. Look, Levi, if your gear is-"

"My gear's fine. It's my leg, and my arm." Levi replied. He'd fallen on his arm in the cave, which was yet another reason why he'd been stuck down there.

"You're hurt?" Erwin asked, suddenly very worried. If neither of them were capable of using the gear correctly, they were trapped.

"Yeah, just a bit." In truth, Levi was in a lot of pain, but he didn't want to worry Erwin unnecessarily.

"May I...?" Erwin asked. Levi nodded, moving his arm and leg in Erwin's direction.  
Levi's arm was bleeding, not so heavily that he'd die, but heavily enough. His ankle looked odd, and swollen. "I think you've broken it." He touched it gently.

"Mm, I think so too." Levi said, letting out a small hiss as he felt Erwin's hand on it.  
Levi saw Erwin shrugging off his jacket, and grabbing hold of the end of his shirt. It was empty, obviously, and Levi remembered suggesting to Erwin that he should probably start wearing short sleeved shirts after he lost his arm, but he obviously hadn't listened to that advice.  
A loud rip came from Erwin, and Levi looked back to see that he'd torn the sleeve off.  
"Give me your arm." Erwin said, voice a deep murmur. Levi did as he was told, and watched as Erwin wrapped the shirt sleeve around his wound.

"You're going to have to help me tie it." he said. Levi nodded, taking one end of it.  
They worked quickly, Erwin pushing his end under Levi's, and both men pulling tightly on the new end they were presented with.

"I'm afraid I can't help with your leg." said Erwin.  
Levi shook his head. "Don't worry about it. It's not like it hasn't happened before."  
Erwin let out a small breathy chuckle at that, as though he wasn't sure whether he should laugh or not.

"Quite right." he finally said.

\---

They spent a few minutes in silence, both contemplating what to do, Levi, who had been down there for about a day now, and Erwin who'd only joined him about twenty minutes ago.

"Let's face it. We're probably stuck down here." Levi said, after what seemed like an eternity had passed.

"You must have faith, Levi. Trust that I will get us out."

"Neither of us can work the gear properly, and it's too high up for you to reach. We can't even climb up the sides because they're too fucking smooth." Levi complained.  
Erwin rested his head on Levi's shoulder.

"Oi, what are you doing?" the Captain asked, scowling. He didn't honestly mind having Erwin so close, but he didn't want to be lead on by his own stupid thoughts, especially not if they were going to die down there, and this was the last interaction they had. He wanted it to be nice, to be memorable.

"I've missed you." Erwin sighed. He sounded far too sentimental, and Levi knew that he was letting his guard down one last time. If they were going to die here, they would do it together as friends, not as a Commander and Captain.

"You saw me this morning, idiot." Levi replied, his voice equally sentimental.

"Levi, I've been riding for about twenty four hours straight trying to find survivors. I haven't seen you in days, not properly at least." Erwin said, almost surprised that Levi hadn't been able to keep track of time.

"Oh." came Levi's reply. He must have passed out at some point. Whatever, though. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered, because he was stuck in a cave with the man he loved, and they were going to die.

"You should get some sleep." Levi said. He grabbed the jacket that Erwin had taken off, and given it back to him. "Put it on, I don't want you freezing to death."  
Erwin did as he was told, requiring only minimal help from Levi. Levi took his own jacket off, and folded it up to make a pillow of sorts. He put it down on his lap.

"I'll stay awake in case anything happens." he said. He knew what he was doing was dangerous, given the position that he was suggesting Erwin rest his head in. But he wanted to do something daring, he wanted to make a move. It might have been lack of sleep, or the years of frustration built up, but regardless, Levi was trying to get Erwin's attention.

"Alright." Erwin nodded. He wasn't going to turn it down since he was absolutely exhausted. He shifted so that his head was resting on Levi's jacket, and his body was lying on the floor in a curled up position. Deep down, he wanted it, he wanted to be close like this with Levi, but given everything, he didn't want to drag him down to hell alongside him, even if he had often declared he'd follow him in willingly.

"Goodnight." he added. "And thank you."

"Tch." he heard, before a hand patted his head awkwardly. It was cold, but just the right sort of cold, because it was Levi's cold.

Before long, Erwin was asleep, practically dead to the world. He must have been exhausted, because it didn't even look like he was dreaming. Levi took the opportunity to study Erwin's face. If this was the last time he was going to see it, he'd try and make it count  
The first time they'd met, Levi hadn't really paid attention to Erwin's looks. Of course, he'd seen him, but it wasn't as if he'd fallen in love to begin with. He was too busy trying to escape him, then kill him, and then kill him some more after Isabel and Farlan had died.  
However, something inside Levi pushed him to trust the man, to want to believe he was as good as he said he was. The thing to begin was probably more of a need, on Levi's part, for a father figure, or a mentor, of some sort. He wasn't good when he had no direction, he became self destructive simply meandering along. He needed something to do, a goal to reach. When his mother was alive, it was to do as she said, and when Kenny was with him, it was to do as he said. When he was with Isabel and Farlan, it was to protect them. Now with Erwin, he had to do as he said too.

It was only natural that he'd look properly at the man he was intent on following.

Erwin was conventionally handsome, there was no denying that. Golden blond hair, kind blue eyes, cheekbones that looked almost as sharp as Levi's blades. His eyebrows were a little large, and his nose looked like it had been broken maybe once or twice, but those quirks were proof that he wasn't some sort of beautiful statue come to life, he was human. And he had a decent, human personality too. He was ruthless, yes, and sometimes cold, but Levi liked that. Levi liked that Erwin was strong enough to do what he had to do to achieve his goal. But at the same time, he was kind, and charming, and funny. There were some days that Erwin reminded Levi of a puppy, excitable and sweet. Of course, other days he was like fox, cunning, cruel and intelligent. No matter what, though, Levi had fallen in love before he noticed it.

This would be the perfect time to confess, to die knowing one way or another whether he even had the slightest chance of love with Erwin. However, Levi just couldn't express it. He didn't want to make their last hours awkward, didn't want Erwin to die feeling even more guilty than usual. If there was anything that needed saying, Erwin would say it, surely. He was brave, and he could always read what Levi was feeling. He just needed to trust that Erwin would say what he felt, if he felt anything.

His arm was painful, and he could barely move it. He wasn't bleeding much anymore, after Erwin had wrapped his shirt sleeve around the wound, but it still was sore. Levi rested it on Erwin's chest, and his other hand gently stroked his hair. He knew it would look weird if Erwin suddenly woke up, but he could simply pretend there was a bug or something in his hair and he was just getting it out.  
Levi wouldn't mind lying to Erwin just this once.

\---

Erwin didn't open his eyes, but he was awake. He could feel Levi's cold fingers threading through his hair, and to be honest, he enjoyed it. It was comforting. He wasn't sure why he was doing it, but he wasn't complaining.  
It must have been a few hours since he fell asleep, and Erwin did feel pretty well rested considering all that had happened.  
"You're one of the bravest men I know."  
Erwin became aware of Levi's voice suddenly, and almost frowned.  
"I will make sure you get home safely, I promise you that."  
He couldn't let Levi carry on talking like that. "Morning..." he mumbled, throat dry and scratchy.  
"Oh." Levi said, almost a little shocked. "Morning."  
Erwin opened his eyes to see Levi looking slightly away from him, an almost guilty expression on his face, as though he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. A light pink blush covered his cheeks, and Erwin wondered whether he was sick. "You look a little red in the face, Levi. Is it hot? Or do you have a fever?"  
"It's just your big body on me. I'm overheating because of you." Levi finally says, seeming a little embarrassed.  
Shifting slowly, Erwin resumed his position next to Levi, with an almost sheepish smile on his face. "Apologies."  
Levi shook his head, and Erwin knew that he probably didn't mind whether he apologised or not.  
"Anyway, what are we gonna do? I've been trying to listen out for Titans or horses, but I can't hear much. We're too far down." Levi said. It was clear to Erwin that he hadn't just been spending his time petting him, he'd been doing some serious thinking too. He'd expect nothing less from his Captain.  
"Levi, it doesn't matter. We're not going to get out of here. Whether or not there are Titans or horses near by makes no difference." Erwin said, sounding a little too blunt.  
"You're wrong. We're going to get out of here." Levi replied. He was determined, although he knew the chances were slim, as long as there was a chance, he'd try and take it.  
Erwin sighed. "I think you need to get some sleep." As Levi had done for him, he took his jacket off, and folded it messily on his lap. He patted it, looking towards the other man with a soft smile.  
Eyes fluttering shut in either exasperation or embarrassment, Levi sat still for a moment, before putting his own jacket back on. He knew that he needed to keep warm while he was asleep.  
He rested his head gently on Erwin's warm lap, thick thighs providing more of a cushion than the jacket on them was. He lay on his back, not even attempting to curl up. His body was too painful for that.  
"Sleep well, Levi."  
"Whatever." he replied, arm aching and heavy on his side. His ankle was painful too, but he could barely feel it compared to the gash on his arm.  
Before Levi had a chance to fall asleep, though, he felt Erwin's hand resting on his head.  
"What are you doing?" Levi questioned, afraid to assume anything in case he was wrong.  
"I thought that's what we did. You were stroking my hair, so I just-"  
"You felt that?" Grey eyes snapped open, Levi looked furious.

Erwin nodded. "It helped me sleep, though, so I don't see the problem."  
He knew he was being selfish, he was taking kindness even though he didn't deserve it, but he supposed he would be punished one day. He might as well take what he could before he died.

Levi seemed to calm a little, eyes shutting again. "If you say so."  
It was hard for Levi to fully relax. He couldn't shake the feeling that Erwin was watching him (he was) and that the moment he fell asleep, he'd do something like stroke his hair (he was going to). Levi found it embarrassing enough that he was very close to a certain part of Erwin's body, one that he didn't particularly want to be near, one that, from the feel of it, was definitely proportional to his height and build. It would be even more mortifying for Levi if Erwin was nice to him, because he was certain he'd end up misinterpreting it, and acting on something that wasn't there. However, in the back of his mind, he knew that he didn't want to keep quiet, and then end up regretting it. If there was an afterlife, he'd never forgive himself for not finding out.

Sure enough, once Levi's breathing had slowed, and he appeared to be asleep, Erwin's large palm smoothed over silky black hair, and he gazed down at Levi's face. He didn't have the same conventional good looks as Erwin, but he had the sort of ugly beauty that most people found interesting, at least. Erwin decided that he wouldn't deny himself this last opportunity, he would finally admit to himself that yes, he was attracted to Levi. It was hard not to be, really. He was one of the kindest, and strongest men Erwin had ever had the pleasure of meeting. But the main thing that had caught Erwin's eye was that he was a man full of contradictions. He was a puzzle to solve, really. Levi look elegant, and sophisticated, with neatly parted hair, impeccable hygiene, and upper class style, yet he spoke and thought like a common street urchin. He hid behind impenetrable walls, yet was vulnerable constantly. He hated unnecessary bloodshed, yet relied on violence when he couldn't express himself. He was Humanity's Strongest, its protector, yet he was the person in need of most protection, mainly from himself. Levi was fascinating to Erwin, and the closer he got to figuring out the mystery of him, the more and more he fell in love. The man was dependable, reliable, and although he acted like a loose cannon sometimes, Erwin knew Levi relied on his guidance and orders. He needed Levi just as much as Levi needed him. But he was so much better than Erwin could ever be, and for that reason, Erwin knew he didn't deserve him. He took advantage of how trusting Levi was, how devoted he was, and used it to further his own cause. Yes, it helped humanity, but at the end of the day, Erwin was simply working for himself. He believed in his heart that he was pure evil.

"I don't deserve you." he murmured to Levi, fingers brushing gently over his pale lips and up across his cheeks.

"You don't." Levi agreed, eyes opening slowly. "You deserve so much more."

Erwin frowned, partly because he had assumed Levi was sleeping, and partly because he was so wrong.

"Erwin, if we die in here, there's something-" Levi began, his own scowl forming, furrowing his brow. "Fuck. I can't."  
He'd wanted to confess, but he couldn't. He was a coward, and he knew it.

"Can't what?" Erwin was a little confused, and looked even deeper into Levi's pale grey eyes. He could see his fear, but he could also see something else. He had seen it many times before when Levi looked at him, but never so much as now.

"Forget it. I need to sleep." Levi said, rolling onto his uninjured arm. He was facing Erwin's stomach, and rather unfortunately, his crotch, but he was too embarrassed to care anymore.

"You're finding it hard to get to sleep, aren't you?" Erwin said, the perceptive bastard he was. Levi nodded.

"I'll talk, maybe it'll bore you enough to get you to fall asleep." he laughed. Levi frowned a little, but nodded again.

"Tell me a story, then, old man. Pretend I'm one of those brats you'll have when we get out of here and win this damn thing."

Erwin smiled, appreciating what his Captain was trying to do for him. "Okay... Well, this is a story my mother once told me when I was a 'brat'. It's about a boy, and a star. The little boy in the story lived in a town where there were lots of open spaces, lots of fields where the stars could be seen clearly. He spent most of his time at night looking up at the stars, and one day he saw a new one. It was the brightest star he'd ever seen, and he adored it instantly."

Levi had closed his eyes by this point, and so Erwin looked down at him, admiring his face as he told the rest of the story. "Its beauty was captivating, and the boy was sure it held all the secrets of the night. Each night, the beautiful star sparkled and shone at him, and he realised it was talking to him. It didn't take long for him to learn how to understand what it was saying, and talk back to it, and they became very good friends. After a few years, the boy, who wasn't really a boy anymore, but a man, fell in love with the star. He knew, however, that it was too bright for him. He didn't deserve the star's friendship, nor did he deserve to love it. So, he married a girl in his town, and although he was sad, he knew it was for the best. He and the girl lived pretty much happily ever after." Erwin said.

"What a shit ending." Levi said, clearly no sleepier than he was before, cracking one eye open to stare at Erwin.

"Why?" Erwin asked, slightly offended on the story's behalf.

"Well, no one took the star's feelings into account. If it was smart enough to talk to some kid, it would be smart enough to fall in love too. Maybe it loved the boy, and seeing him marry some girl broke its heart." was the reply. Levi spoke as if it was obvious.

"That's not the point, though. The point was that the star was too good for-"

"What if the star was jealous of the kid being human? What if it felt that the boy was too good for it as well?" Levi interrupted.

Erwin sighed. "Fine, you tell the story, and make it better then."  
He found it very typical that in what could potentially be their last few days together, they were arguing over a story.

"Alright. So, the star had been watching the kid the whole time, and it had also fallen in love. It might have been the brightest star, but that made it different, not better. The star felt like it could relate to the boy, because the boy was also different. I mean, what sort of loser spends all their time watching the stars?" Levi said, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. "Anyway, I don't think the boy would have married the girl. I think the boy would have shut himself away. He probably felt like he couldn't love because he wasn't worthy of anyone. I know the type very well." Levi prodded Erwin's leg gently, teasingly.

"So what happened next?" Erwin asked. He was the master of reading between the lines, and the subtext for this described their relationship perfectly, especially given the fact that Erwin had lied. His mother never told him the story, he'd just made it up on the spot. He wanted to push his point home with Levi, that sometimes people just aren't worthy of others. But Levi seemed intent on showing that neither side felt worthy of the other.

"Well, the star was worried, of course. It didn't know why the boy was hiding himself away, and it thought it wouldn't ever get a chance with the boy it loved. However, it knew that it would always be there, watching over him, and it didn't mind quite so much. If the boy felt the same way, then it'd let him make the first move." Levi replied.

"And did he?" Erwin asked.

Levi shrugged, an action that was clearly painful given the look on his face. "I don't know. I'm not the boy."

Erwin simply nodded, not necessarily confirming nor denying that statement.

\--

Levi had managed to fall asleep properly after that. Erwin barely moved, trying not to disturb him. He knew he was a light sleeper.

He didn't say anything either, instead he worked out a plan to get them out. They could really only use one set of gear, as Levi wouldn't be able to move about on his own. Erwin decided that Levi and himself were heavy enough together that it would probably mean extra strain on the gear, if they used it properly, that is. Now, Erwin was trying to come up with an alternative way of using it. He could shoot straight up, and slowly drag himself and Levi to the top. It would be easy enough, and it would require minimum effort and gas. All he needed was to make sure that they were both strapped in properly.

He woke Levi up, and explained the plan, both setting quickly to work preparing their own gear. It was painful for Levi, and just difficult for Erwin, but they managed. Erwin was wearing the gear properly, and Levi was tied safely to him. Once Erwin engaged with the top, he could walk up the side, and Levi would be pulled up with him. It would work.  
Levi was just relieved he wouldn't die down there. He was also glad he hadn't confessed anything awkward too. Love had no place on the battlefield.  
Suddenly, before they were about to leave, a crash of thunder made them both jump.

"Shit, what is that? Is it a storm?" Levi asked, eyes straining upwards.

"It could be a shifter." Erwin replied. He knew they couldn't wait any longer, though, and so he engaged his gear.

Walking up sidewards was hard, tough on his legs and back. But it was worth it. He would get them both out. Or at least, he'd get Levi out.  
An unearthly scream rattled through the cave entrance, and Erwin was visibly shaking afterwards. He didn't even want to think about what had made that noise.  
He finally got to the top, blocking out anything Levi was saying so that he would be able to do so with worry, and used his arm to pull himself over. The sight he was met with was terrifyingly beautiful.

Hordes of Titans, surrounding the small hole in the ground on all sides. They weren't paying any attention to Erwin, or Levi who had crawled out on his own, even though he was in terrible pain.

They were eating each other.

"What the fuck?" Levi exclaimed, clearly just as surprised as Erwin was.

"I don't know. I really... I don't know." He was speechless.  
Footsteps could be heard thudding, it was a Titan running towards them. Erwin knew they didn't stand a chance against it, so he took hold of Levi's hand, who was still strapped to his front.  
He look down at their connection, surprised. "What the fuck?" he repeated.

Erwin looked ahead sadly, certain that this would be it, they were both dead. "You were right."

"I was?"

"Yes. Levi, you weren't the boy. I was. You were the star."  
Before Levi had a chance to reply, the crowd of Titans split, allowing the running one to enter.

Erwin knew this was the moment he'd been waiting for, the moment he paid for all those lives he'd taken. He was being selfish now, literally keeping Levi with him, Levi who remained loyally by him even to the end. But he was going to hell anyway, he might as well sin as many times as he could.  
They both looked up to the titan, and both froze as they stared into bright green eyes.

"Eren?"

\--

"So you're saying you commanded the Titans to eat each other?" Erwin asked the boy.  
"Yes, sir." Eren nodded. "I shifted after I lost- After Mikasa and Armin died, sir. I was mad, and I couldn't control it very well, but after a few hours, I realised what I was doing, and what had happened."

He seemed upset, and rightfully so. They'd suffered huge losses, but it had ended in a victory. In fact, Eren's power had stretched all over the land, to all the Titans. They'd won, they'd finally done it. Erwin knew that Hange would have been excited by this, but unfortunately they were one of the many casualties.

"I was still mad, and I screamed at them all, begging them all to die." Eren said, obviously making himself mad all over again from the way his fists were clenched. "Before I knew it, they began to turn on each other. I ran as fast as I could, because I didn't want to be eaten. I noticed a huge crowd of them, and they parted for me, that's when I saw you two. So, I picked you up and- well, you were there for the rest of it."

"You did good, kid." Levi said from his bed. They were all in the infirmary, the few survivors aside from them had all gone home. Both Eren and Erwin had insisted on staying put, though, to make sure Levi was comfortable. He had lost the use of his ankle, but his arm would be fine, the nurse said. Eren was telling the story of what had happened.

"Thank you, Captain." Eren said, nodding at him.

"Well, I'm sure we all need some time to rest, and grieve, so Eren, you're dismissed. On behalf of everyone, fallen soldiers and all, thank you for everything you have done for the Survey Corps. It's been an honour working with you." Erwin said, offering a salute.

Eren saluted back, standing to face both his superiors. "It's been an honour working with you too, sir. And Captain, thank you too."

The dark haired boy left almost immediately after, and both the Commander and his Captain could hear the tears he shed once he left the room. It was a terrible shame. He was so young, and had witnessed so much loss in his life. It was a tragedy for all soldiers like him too. The difference was, most of them were dead.

A few moments passed before either one of them spoke.

"I should probably leave too. You need to rest." Erwin said.

"Wait. I-"

Erwin raised an eyebrow at Levi. What had been said before still hadn't been fully addressed, and Erwin wasn't sure either of them were going to say anything about it. He was terrified, terrified not just about his own feelings, but of Levi's too. He was sure that he didn't deserve any nice feelings from Levi, so didn't know how he'd deal with it if Levi confessed to him. Given the hopeful look in Levi's eyes, he was going to. Erwin couldn't allow Levi to spend his life in love with a war criminal, a murderer. It wouldn't be fair. And just as no one considered the star's feelings, Erwin didn't even pause to consider Levi's. He just assumed that he knew what was best for the both of them because of his own guilt.

"I want to know what you meant by what you said." Levi said, grey eyes keeping Erwin stuck to his spot.

"I need to get on with some paperwork, and I don't think now is an appropriate time to be discussing matters like that." Erwin said, sounding far too cold.

Levi's face fell, only a little, though. It was still enough to get through the ice that covered Erwin's heart. He realised in that moment that he was wrong. He believed Levi was more important than himself, yet Levi clearly felt the same way. The star felt for the boy, and so he must have deserved it. Their fallen friends couldn't have a life, because he'd stolen it, and as he'd originally thought, his punishment for it all would not be a quick death, but a long life. However, he owed it to the dead to live his life for them, to take all the chances they could never have. Hell could come after, but for now he'd take his slice of heaven, for Mike, for Hange, for Nanaba, for Gelgar, for Dita, for Levi's first squad, for the children of the 104th, and for all the names he'd never gotten the chance to learn and commit to the growing list of his victims. The boy would finally be with his beloved star, because of all the people that had fallen before him.

"Tomorrow, when you've been discharged, though, I think it would be nice if we went out to a tea room. We haven't had any time off in a while, correct?" Erwin said. "Now we've won, I suppose we have all the time in the world."

The corners of Levi's small mouth quirked upwards, a smile that was hard earned and even more precious now. "Okay. See you tomorrow, then."

Erwin stood from the chair next to Levi's bed, and turned to pat his shoulder. Although usually Erwin was a man of cold, cold intellect, and a mask that was as impossible to penetrate as the crystal that had surrounded Annie, after so much loss and then a victory, it would have been exhausting for him to carry it on any longer. At least, with Levi. With Levi he could always be himself. Selfish as he was being, he leant down, and placed a simple kiss on the top of his Captain's head.

"See you tomorrow." he replied.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and everything else are very much appreciated. This fic has been the product of a few days hard work, and I'm quite proud of it even though I'm sure it sucks balls. Un-beta'd, and all mistakes are my own.


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